neighbors
i grew up among packs of children on a quiet little street in the heart of town. the lives of my brother and me were filled with driveway basketball games, tree-climbing, lightning-bug-catching, lemonade stands, and the like. but there were several families in particular who really shaped the days of my youth and the lives of my mom and dad as young parents: the L family, the C family, and the B family surrounded us on three sides.
the L, C, and B children were pretty close in age to my brother and me, and while we were busy getting along famously, our parents were constantly helping each other out. our moms took turns picking us up from school and keeping each other’s children during impromptu errands made easier without kids in tow. there were no scheduled play dates or activities. our parents simply let us loose to waltz through each other’s back doors and live out our days covered in sweat, mosquito bites, and melted popsicle juice.
ours are the only kids who play outside in our current neighborhood, apart from our next-door-neighbor’s granddaughter, who visits occasionally and much to our delight. those who live close to our family are simply in different stages of life than we are but their roles in our existance are still essential. at some point while i was discussing the particularities of perennials, bulbs, and shrubs with our friends next door, i knew i could call on them to gather our mail when we’re out of town and even watch the bird in a pinch while i fetch the monkey from school. in turn, i water their bushes and cover them in baked goods.
there is a certain peace of mind that comes with knowing that there are families around who are ready and willing to lend me an egg, eat my leftovers, venture outside for impromptu conversation, and be available in case of emergency. parenting is just easier when you have good neighbors. i’m full of gratitutude for mine!
[the pictures above are from my childhood and serve as payback for all those times my neighbors beat me in basketball, kicked over my bike, and cheated in flashlight tag.]
April 29th, 2010 at 8:09 am
Am having a terrible time with BMC. Things all came to a head last night. Of course AMC is out of town and neither of us have family here in town. My neighbors came to my rescue just as they have always done in the past. This post hit at just the right time for me. I needed it and needed to know it is ok and good to count on and be counted on as a neighbor. Thanks MA>
April 29th, 2010 at 9:41 am
Someone once told me that the reason for all things wrong in our country is due to the fact that we aren’t neighborly anymore, no more front porches, no more letting kids play in the front yard, riding bikes in the neighborhood,etc. No more close knit neighborhoods where everyone knows eachother.l I think there might be some truth to this. Maybe if we just did one tiny step like spending time in our front yard.
April 29th, 2010 at 12:48 pm
Neighbors are truly blessings, and your post sent me down memory lane as well!! I knew I had been in a city/apartment setting too long when we moved into our house and asked my husband, “Wow, kids still play outside like we used to?”
We’re lucky enough to have hit the neighbor jackpot. And I’m glad you have great neighbors who lend a hand with little hands and when errands (and a little sanity) is necessary!
April 29th, 2010 at 9:52 pm
LOVE that first pic!!! : )
April 30th, 2010 at 2:27 pm
On many levels, moving to a “new” house just one block over 6 months ago was totally absurd. But then the warm weather arrived, and all the kids came out of the woodwork. Now we can’t get all the way in the carport before my kids are out and on their way down to the cove, where there are anywhere from 3 to 10+ kids ranging from age 5 to 15 playing together (or at least near each other!)
I grew up this way, and am so grateful for those dirty hands and skinned-knee days. 8 foot fences, iron gates, 8-6 workday schedules, and unthinkable but real tragedies involving children have seriously wounded that lifestyle, in my opinion. However, I do agree that a neighborly attitude is the first step. You can luck into it by moving, as we did, or you can consciously make it happen, as you seem to have done. We are lucky that one set of neighbors is my parents, another rarity in this day and age.
I am challenged to find a balance between encouraging the friendships and life lessons of playing outside and the very real dangers that lurk in the spaces that we cannot supervise. How old to ride a bike on the street without a parent? How old to walk 4 houses down alone to play? How reliable is the adorable dog playing in the yard across the street? How well should you know a family (neighbor, classmate, whatever)before your child has unrestricted access to their house?
A Lebonese coworker of mine commented how Americans are the most generous nation of people to respond in a crisis, but as individuals, we keep our doors locked tight (figuratively and literally!). We DON’T typically know our neighbors, and we often don’t bother to try. I wonder how we can manage to be both at once?