mothers of invention: anne
first name: Anne
age: 44
current city: Memphis
living situation: I live in Memphis with my husband and two daughters, who are 10 and 12. My 20-year old son is at the University of Michigan. He comes home for winter, spring and summer breaks, and I miss him like crazy the rest of the time.
occupation: Pediatric Occupational Therapist
how do you structure your time and space? Currently, I work full-time as a therapist for the school system. My husband and I share taking the girls to school in the mornings, and we’ve hired a college student to pick them up from school four days a week. I’m usually home Monday through Thursday by 4:00 or 4:30, at which point all of the homework is finished and time permitting, the dishwasher is empty and a load of laundry has been done! I love picking up the girls up on Fridays. We usually go out for ice cream or cup cakes or some sort of delicious, unhealthy snack.
The only part of home-making that I get credit for is cooking, emptying the dishwasher, gardening and pitching in on paying for the housekeeper. As long as I can work enough to help cover the bill, I’m going to keep that up! As far as recreation, I try to force myself to exercise, which I absolutely despise. I convince myself to occasionally walk or get on the elliptical by remembering that I want to be around for my children and grandchildren. My favorite recreation is to hang out with my husband and kids in the evenings, talk about our day, and maybe even have a glass wine (only the parents, not the kids!).
using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,
-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? The most recent adjustment for me has been going back to work full-time. Financially, this job is making a huge difference in our ability to pay for our son’s college and save for our daughters’ future college tuition. Yet, I struggle with guilt, because I would like to be able to pick the girls up from school every day, drive on the field trips, and be more involved in the PTA, et cetera. My youngest daughter, Hanna, frequently asks, “Can you pick me up today?” or “Can you drive on this field trip?” This leaves me feeling 2-inches tall. On the positive side, my job is fun, the hours are great, and you can’t beat being off work for fall, Christmas, spring and summer breaks!
-what season(s) preceded this one? I just completed my Ph.D. in Educational Psychology, which I worked on part-time over an 8-year period. I was employed part-time as a therapist and did mommy duty. As stressful as it sounds, this was a wonderful time in my life because I made my own schedule, and even though school was stressful, I absolutely loved all my classes and learning. I also loved the challenge of fitting work and study time in between the hours of parents’ day out, preschool and eventually elementary school! The really tough part didn’t come until the last year…the dreaded dissertation. I think that part was harder on my husband that anyone else. He couldn’t stand that my head was always in a book or a computer. But those days are over now! I know he’s glad.
-what season(s) might your future hold? Currently I’m in the process of writing a parenting book. My goal is to bring in enough money from other projects such as this so that I can go back to working part-time as a therapist. Ideally, I’d like to work as an Occupational Therapist three days a week. I’m also interested in starting an educational program for young unwed mothers in the Memphis/Midsouth area that educates them on the importance of prenatal care and basic parenting techniques. Because the Memphis area has one of the highest infant mortality rates in the country, I believe that a program like this has the potential to really make a difference.
favorite family activity: What’s most important to me is spending time with my husband and children. I’d rather work during the day when my kids are in school and pay someone to take care of the housework, so that from 4:30 on (as well as weekends) I’m free to have more quality family time. We enjoy cooking, porch sitting, playing cards and board games and watching our favorite TV shows together.
favorite solo activity: I love hanging out at coffee shops, reading, sewing, pondering, painting and gardening.
sources of inspiration: books, good quotes, Fridays, friends, love.
best MakeShift moment: My youngest daughter, Hanna, has an odd obsession with injuries. Over the years, she’s feigned a variety of boo boos including sprained ankles, fingers, and the like. As a result, we have a collection of ace bandages, finger splints, and even an old pair of crutches from a foot injury that not-so-coincidentally occurred after Santa brought a toy cast and pair of crutches to her American Girl Doll.
Recently, Hanna claimed that she hurt her wrist during gymnastics. I inspected the injury site and there was no sign of redness or swelling, just her familiar dramatic cries of “ouch” when I touched it. Our wrist splint was worn out, so being the good therapist that I am, I decided to repair it. I used splinting material to touch it up and make a new support bar. As is typical, Hanna continued to complain over the following days but I was surprised when she reported to be in too much pain for her next gymnastics class. We headed straight to an orthopedic doctor, who subsequently informed us that she had a small fracture on the growth plate in her wrist!
As I was sitting there feeling like a totally horrible mother, he told us that she would need to wear a cast for at least 4 weeks. Then he picked up the makeshift splint that she’d been wearing, looked it over carefully, cocked an eyebrow and asked, “Hanna, have you been wearing this since you hurt your wrist?” She nodded and informed him that the splint was broken, and her mom had fixed it. I sunk a little in my seat. The doctor smiled and said, “I like this splint. I like the support. Hanna, I’ll give you one week’s credit for wearing this. You only have to wear the cast for three weeks.” Then he winked at me. I couldn’t believe it. Did he really believe that the splint had given her wrist enough support? His saying so sure made me feel better…that along with the fact that an incredibly cute, young doctor had winked at me!
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Tags: adult children, anne, kids, occupational therapist, phD
March 8th, 2010 at 8:05 am
What a co-incidence – I am on OT as well, although I work in the field of vocational rehabilitation. I must admit though I haven’t made a splint in many years. I was able to do some hand therapy with my son when he sustained a crush injury to his finger a couple of years ago:) I love how your daughters doll has some aids and appliances – perhaps you will have a future doctor or therapist on your hands.
March 9th, 2010 at 6:57 am
Anne, I loved hearing your story! I am so impressed with the way you balanced doctoral work with motherhood and working. I was single, no kids, and had a graduate assistantship and felt overwhelmed! I did love the flexibility of that time, though, and often long for it.