mothers of invention: betty
name: Betty
age: 56
current city: Atlanta
living situation: I live with my husband Larry. My daughter Lulu (19) lives with us when she’s not at college. My stepson Tyler (19) just moved back to PA with his mom, and my stepdaughter Lindsay (23) just moved out into her own apartment with her boyfriend.
occupation: I am a writer. I currently run a blog called What Gives 365. Every day for 365 days, I give $100 to causes, people, and organizations that I believe are doing good work and are worthy of support. And every day, I write about why I chose to give– which hopefully will inspire other people to give a few bucks of their hard-earned money, too. I’ve also written two tragi-comic books on motherhood: I’m Too Sexy For My Volvo: A Mom’s Guide to Staying Fabulous! and The Agony and The Agony: Raising Your Teenager without Losing Your Mind.
how do you structure your time and space? I work at home. I’ve converted the third floor bedroom into my writing lair. I love it because it’s far from the kitchen, and I can’t find anything to clean, eat or distract myself with up here – plus I have a great view of the trees. I generally come up here with coffee at about seven or eight a.m. I stay up here writing until I post my blog (about noon). Then, I’ll go to tennis or just eat something. I return to work during the afternoon and sometimes at night as well. When my kids are home, I’m much less of a workaholic. When they’re not, I’m working pretty much all the time, at least for now.
using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,
-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? I guess I’m in autumn. I am winding down in the parental role, having to figure out the next scenario with my husband, figuring out what to do with my talents and abilities in the next stage, wanting to earn money without being a slave to it, and negotiating my independence versus my need for intimacy. I spend time wondering who I am when I’m not a day-to-day mom anymore, and wondering if the best part of life is behind me. As I try to get okay with being older, I wonder if this is the stage of life when everybody starts to die on you. I am happy and often even exhilarated, but I also kind of wait for the ax to fall or the frost to come.
-what season(s) preceded this one? Summer. It was the end of having the kids living at home. It was a time of a lot of activity, the frenzy of coming changes, sweetness, ripeness, and the sense of things ending. I wanted to hold on and not let go because I knew that things would soon be colder and emptier. I had the feeling of impending loneliness, but with this came a greater appreciation of the beauty of the moment. And there were a lot of episodes of feeling very hot.
-what season(s) might your future hold? Winter, death, the end. The only good news is grandchildren! But, there is always the possibility of rebirth!!!
favorite family activities: traveling, entertaining, going to movies and college events, watching television, playing board games, going to church, getting together with friends, going shopping or to the movies with my daughter, visiting with my step-kids and seeing them grow, cooking, and talking, and laughing
favorite solo activities: gardening, tennis, reading, visiting with girlfriends and family, writing, traveling, and taking courses at the college where my husband works.
source(s) of inspiration: The New Yorker, the Bible, music, poetry, books, movies, the Internet, nature, my church, other people
best MakeShift moment: For some reason, a couple of years back, my home got chosen to be on the Tour of Homes in Brookhaven in the “garden” category. Given all the ultra fancy backyards in this area with gobs of landscaping, ours is pathetic – no pool, no grand sculptures, no mazes or topiaries, nada. So my friend and I decided we were just going to go with the kitschy look – and since it was late October, I created a scary haunted house thing with hanging spiders; cobwebs; lots of skeletons; a sitting Freddy Krueger; a dried ice fire pit; creepy lighting; and tons of flowers, haystacks, and pumpkins. It ended up looking really cute and fun — not glam, for sure — but definitely creative, and entertaining, and cool. I was kind of proud of that.
find betty on the web:
- blog: http://whatgives365.wordpress.com/
- the agony and the agony: http://www.amazon.com/Agony-Raising-Teenager-without-Losing/dp/1600940749/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1282134454&sr=1-1
- i’m too sexy for my volvo: http://www.amazon.com/Im-Too-Sexy-My-Volvo/dp/1593375026/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1282135806&sr=1-1
[if you or someone you know would make a good “mother of invention,” please check out the nomination process and questionnaire located on the sidebar to your right.]
Tags: betty londergan, college, garden, haunted house, I’m Too Sexy For My Volvo, mothers of invention, oglethorpe, stepdaughter, stepson, tennis, The Agony and The Agony, Tour of Homes in Brookhaven, What Gives 365, writer
August 18th, 2010 at 12:05 pm
[…] an act of shameless self-promotion, I’d like to introduce you to a cool new site called Mothers of Invention. This week, it’s featuring…me! Check it out – it’ll be featuring lots of women, each with […]
August 18th, 2010 at 1:21 pm
Love learning more about Betty! She’s such a fab writer with a huge creative heart. Gorgeous daughter!!! Surprised to hear Betty thinks she’s in Autumn. I so think she is in Spring. This one year blog is the beginning of a new season in her life that is going to yield a bountiful harvest of magnificent experiences. Grow, Betty, grow!
August 18th, 2010 at 1:42 pm
Oh man, I am way too sexy for my Sienna! Wow, I am in love with Bettys raw honesty, the empty nest and stage is something I know I am not prepared for. Thanks for the peek into yoru life Betty. – kathi
August 18th, 2010 at 7:53 pm
Our son’s fifteenth year took me perilously close to the edge of my sanity. Betty’s book, “The Agony and the Agony,” arrived just in time and saved one of our lives. I’m not sure whose, but somebody in our family is alive today thanks to Betty’s honesty, wisdom, and humor, and I’ve thanked her more than once. I recommend the book to anyone with a teenage son or daughter. Betty and I have also become blogging buddies, and I consider myself lucky for that. Her project, “What Gives 365,” is an education on how the world works — and should work. If this woman is in the autumn of her life, she’ll need to invent a couple of new seasons to hold all of the great things she has yet to do.
August 19th, 2010 at 12:28 am
What a good idea to do a blog on Mothers.
Hey Betty you’re lucky that you have a great view of the trees where you write. In our last house I could see the large orange tree in the back yard from my desk. The sound of the birds and the scent of the orange blossoms wafted in the window. Lovely.