teaching and learning
[this is the first in a series of guest posts written by jennifer harrison, who was perhaps the only other person in my high school english classes who joined me in gleeful celebration when called up on to diagram sentences. jennifer’s posts will highlight how her vocation as an elementary school teacher informs her parenting, and vice-versa. her bio is located at the conclusion of her wise words.]
I’m not a math person but I have recently been throwing together some numbers. The upcoming school year marks my tenth as a classroom teacher. Each year, I’ve taught about 20 kids. This means that in all, I’ve worked with roughly 200 students, not to mention about 400 parents. So, long before I began raising my own daughter, Elizabeth, I was introduced to the wonderful, complicated, emotional, and consuming business of parenting.
While I will begin this school year and its requisite parent partnerships with a good chunk of experience under my belt, I nonetheless approach my tenth class with new eyes: the eyes of a new mother, who fiercely loves her daughter and only wants the best for her. I know that each first grade parent I will meet next week was once just like I am now: constantly chasing after a toddler; looking at a little face and wondering what kind of person this small being will become; and hoping that a cheerful, babbling child will always know a happy and abundant life.
Throughout my years as a teacher, I have come to believe that there is one essential truth about parenting. All parents, no matter whether they are overbearing, laid-back, or somewhere in between, absolutely love their children. The way in which this love manifests itself is wildly different from parent to parent. Some parents wring their hands in fretful anxiety about what I, as a teacher, know is a minor bump in the road (if it’s even a bump at all!). Others celebrate every victory and milestone with endless flashes of the camera and small notes in lunchboxes. Still others occupy themselves with very demanding careers so that they can provide their children with a vast array of creature comforts and material things. Regardless of how hands-on or hands-off a parent may appear to be, their common fuel is their deep and abiding love of sons and daughters.
” Too often, we critically declare that this mother works too much, this father hovers around the school too frequently, or this couple places too many demands on their child.”
I think it is unfortunately too easy for so many of us — teachers, fellow parents, and the casual observers of society — to quickly, harshly judge parents. Too often, we critically declare that this mother works too much, this father hovers around the school too frequently, or this couple places too many demands on their child. It helps to remember that all of those parents once held a moments-old newborn in their arms. They have all become enraptured, as I have, with the enormity and the wonder of a life that is, as a friend so wisely put it, pure potential. That moment is the tie that binds us all together as parents. It is a tie that I now share with the 36 parents who will soon receive a letter from me in the mail. I now understand the eyes with which those parents will read that letter. This fresh perspective has renewed my commitment to my career, and it has reminded me of all that I hope Elizabeth and I will grow to be as mother and daughter.
jennifer harrison earned her bachelors and masters degrees at vanderbilt and has taught in public and private schools since 1999. she currently enjoys chicago city life with her ER nurse husband, 13-month-old daughter elizabeth, and dog rowdy. when jennifer is not parenting or teaching, she enjoys reading, photography, travel, and the quest for the perfect latte.
Tags: chicago, jennifer harrison, judge, parents, students, teaching and learning
August 26th, 2010 at 9:54 am
I really wish her words were true. Unfortunately, in my practice of psychology, I have learned that not every parent does love their child. Granted, most of them do–even the majority of the ones who neglect and abuse their children love those children in whatever distorted way their own hurt-filled lives will allow them to manage. But not every child has experienced the enraptured gaze of a falling-in-love parent, been held in a loving embrace, heard the magical words “I love you”, or had their well-being be anyone’s primary focus. Not every child is loved at home. But the kindness and attention of a teacher can plant the seed of self-worth that allows such children to eventually, with much time and effort, begin to realize some of the pure potential that is their birthright.
August 26th, 2010 at 10:04 am
This is a beautiful reminder not to judge the ways of other parents, but let us also remember that there are some parents who do not have their children’s best interests at heart. For those children, “teacher” becomes so much more. Thank you.
By the way, I LOVE diagramming sentences as well, MA. Maybe we should have a diagramming party?
August 26th, 2010 at 11:32 am
what a great reminder that these children in our classrooms are not just beings without a story.
they all have stories- and they all have love- somewhere in some way. how great that now you can impart that love to your students, from a parent’s perspective.