expanding and contracting
for four years and four months, my world has constantly expanded.
motherhood has brought new and interesting people into my life. the day we brought the monkey home from the hospital, i became a member of a diverse group of fellow moms who share something so basic that there is potential for meaningful conversation even in the checkout line at target.
motherhood has broadened my realm of experiences. i’m not just a woman in my thirties. i’m a little boy in the terrible twos. i’m eating ice-cream for the first time. i am wrapping my four-year-old mind around the concept of death. i’m testing limits, drawing on walls, and climbing on counter tops. i am getting my first bicycle with training wheels for christmas.
on the other hand, for four years and four months, my world has constantly contracted.
motherhood has zapped my energy supply. never before have i had the level of connection with friends that i do now. the paradox is that i no longer have the get-up-and-go to make these connections happen regularly.
motherhood has narrowed my realm of experiences. there are mind-blowing heights and depths in my every day. but most of these events take place within the four walls of my home.
the female body is not the only part that expands and contracts in the process of ushering in and supporting new life. long after the pregnancy is over there is a new largess and a new kind of narrowing with which to contend. the simultaneous awe and discomfort of pregnancy take up residence in the mind for how long? four years and four months? eighteen years? from now on?
Tags: connections, contracting, energy, expanding, fellow moms, motherhood
December 17th, 2010 at 9:52 pm
i love this….time is a tricky thing. Whenever i get in the trap of thinking….”well, in a year or so I wll have more time”…..that ends up never being the case. I’m realizing we only have tons of time when we are young and by young I mean teens and early 20s. Then a funny thing happens…whether we are married with kids or married no kids or kids not married or…. just BEING, the older we get the more time seems to slip away from us and the more vulnerable we feel and the more mortality stares us in the face. As soon as someone figures out how to slow time then i will buy that book or pill! But on the other hand, if time wasn’t such a commodity , would it seem so priceless?
December 19th, 2010 at 8:21 pm
thank you & amen.