this morning, i had a grand time making this oreo chocolate mousse cheesecake for easter:
i don’t need any help transforming my kitchen (or any other room, for that matter) into a disaster area. but the bird was generous enough to pitch in anyway.
i think i’ll go for a run.
[just two days left to enter “the billboard bag,” giveaway on saturday’s post. you can head on over there after you’re inspired by the fabulous gretchen!]
first name: Gretchen
age: 35
current city: Memphis
living situation: I live in a great historic district neighborhood on a very friendly street in Midtown Memphis, with my 6 year old son and my husband.
occupation: Director of International Training, Fortune 500 hotel company
how do you structure your time and space? Well, this has evolved over time for us. After my son was born, I took 13 weeks of maternity leave. I went back to work full-time, but was able to work from home two days a week, and my husband stayed home with our son the other three days a week. At the time, we lived in DC and good day care was ruinously expensive. Plus, I think that first year really created a bond between my son and husband that you don’t always see between fathers and infants. After the first week of my husband’s frantic phone calls that included words like, “Um honey, he already ate all the breast milk in the fridge and it is noon, now what do I do?” he figured it out pretty quickly and has been a great hands-on dad ever since!
We moved to Memphis when our son was one, and for two years I worked part-time on a contract basis and had a really flexible schedule, meaning I basically worked during nap time and in the evenings. And, once a week, I had a college sitter come to the house to babysit while I worked upstairs.
I was offered my dream job two years ago. I work from home most of the time but travel five days out of every month. And, sometimes, I travel internationally for more than a week at a time. Honestly, I couldn’t do this job without my husband’s support. I pretty much walk out the door on Monday morning and come home Friday and the family runs without me while I’m gone. I don’t even plan meals for them anymore. It’s almost like what I envision it would be like to be a man!
As for the “rest” of life (cooking, cleaning, laundry, et cetera), I’m not as organized as I’d like to be. We end up ordering out often, and I will confess that on more than one occasion, I have sent my son to school in the “least dirty” uniform pants I could find because I hadn’t done laundry soon enough. But, if I’m having a hectic day at work and my choices are to spend some time with my son before bedtime or cook dinner, I’ll always choose to spend time with him. If I have to choose between doing laundry or hanging out with my husband after the kiddo is in bed, I’ll usually choose husband time (unless we are all down to our last pair of pants!)
using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,
-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? Working from home, I’m constantly having to draw and redraw the boundaries between work and the rest of my life. While I try to make my schedule flexible so I can be involved in school events and all the other things that go with having a young child, I still have a job that has to get done in a professional manner.
On the other hand, working from home has afforded me an opportunity to really strike a happy balance between my career and my family. I love my career and I have worked very hard to get where I am. But, I also don’t want to miss out on raising my son.
The biggest challenge for me, personally, is that after I’m finished working 40+ hours, taking care of “life,” and spending time with my son and husband, there often isn’t very much time left for my own personal pursuits. I figure I’ll catch up on all of those books I want to read when my son becomes a teenager and doesn’t want to hang out with me anymore!
-What season(s) preceded this one? A move and the evolution of my current career/family balance.
-What season(s) might your future hold? I guess I’ll see where the journey takes us. My company is based in DC and sometimes the topic of moving my family back there arises. If they offered me a promotion to a job I really wanted, I would seriously consider moving. I love Memphis, but I also have worked long and hard to get where I am. I spent a few years on the “mommy track” but now that I’m back to working on a “career track” and getting recognized professionally, it would be hard for me to turn down that next step on the career ladder. However, it would have to be a decision that was right for our entire family and not just me.
favorite family activities: We love to travel, and our son has been to Europe as well as to many places across the U.S. Closer to home. My son and I have a date to the Downtown Farmer’s Market (which he calls the party farmer’s market) every Saturday when it is open. That is one of my very favorite things to do with him while my husband takes that time to sleep in or read a book. We also enjoy going down to the Greenbelt Park in Harbor Town to ride bikes.
favorite solo activities: yoga, reading, cooking for relaxation and not because dinner needs to be on the table in 20 minutes. I’m also a newly contributing blogger at http://meldabbles.com/ on “green living.”
sources of inspiration: my husband and son; the little messages on my Yogi tea bags; yoga
best MakeShift moment: I don’t know that I have just one MakeShift moment. My entire life feels like a MakeShift moment some days! My best moments are those when I can see through the chaos and recognize that work won’t fall apart because I sneak out to have ice cream after school with my son, or that my son won’t be scarred for life because I had to miss his birthday last year due to a work meeting (whether I may be scarred for life is still in question). My best MakeShift moments are when I can take the time and find the clarity to realize how VERY, very lucky I am and appreciate it.
gretchen is the author of “it’s easy being green,” a regular blog column in which she offers some of her favorite ways to increase environmentally-conscious family living. check it out her introductory post at http://meldabbles.com/2010/03/29/announcement-2-its-easy-being-green/#comment-100.
i read karen horney’s book, our inner conflicts, when i was a 25 year old hospital chaplain and divinity school student. i had the painful and liberating experience then of seeing my personality spelled out in its pages. now, as a 33 year old mother of two, i see myself again in horney’s theories.
essentially, she explains that part of being human (or say… being a mother) is having to manage conflicting ideas and difficult choices. these things produce a natural anxiety which can be addressed in healthy ways or in a number of unhealthy patterns or neuroses. one such neurosis is “the formation of the idealized image.”
this way of dealing with life’s complexity and the darkness within ourselves involves “creat[ing] an image of what, at the time, [we] feel like [we] ought to be. conscious or unconscious, the image is always in large degree removed from reality, though the influence it exerts on [a] person’s life is very real indeed…. if the focus is upon the discrepancy between the idealized image and the actual self, then all [we] are aware of are [our] incessant attempts to bridge the gap and whip [ourselves] into perfection. in this event [we] keep reiterating the word ‘should’ with amazing frequency” (96,98).
i believe monday’s mother of invention, jessa, captured this notion more succinctly with her proposed motherhood book title, get a grip: stop shoulding all over yourself!
as a young adult, my ridiculous standards had to do with academics, body image, and being admired and adored by all. thankfully, i don’t feel so tied to these notions anymore. but motherhood comes with its own set of ridiculous standards that we often simultaneously despise and reinforce, both consciously and unconsciously.
i must confess that a couple of days before last christmas, i decided that i SHOULD sew each of my children the perfect pair of christmas pajamas. i did this partly because i love to sew but mostly because i had this picture in my head of my children opening their designated christmas eve packages, gleefully donning their new jammies, waking up in style on christmas morning, and beaming from head-to flannel-clad-toe as they posed for photos in nests of gifts and wrapping paper.
as you can see, the SHOULDS won, as they often still do.
but karen horney gave me the invaluable gift of being able to at least recognize (and sometimes even in the present moment) whether i’m being driven by my true self or some neurotic, culturally-informed idea of who i SHOULD be.
maybe there is hope for me yet. maybe there will come a glorious day when mothers everywhere stop shoulding all over ourselves. this is an idealized image i’m going to hold on to.
[it’s not too late to enter the “billboard bag” giveaway. also, the source for this post can be found in the bibliography page located on the sidebar to your right.]
[don’t forget to enter the “the billboard bag,” giveaway on saturday’s post… now, meet erin!]
first name: Erin Condren
age: 40! Yes, 40!
current city: I live in Hermosa Beach, CA and work in El Segundo (15 minute commute).
living situation: I live with my husband, Hilary (yes, he is a man), and twin children, Kate and Finn, who will be nine on July 24th.
occupation: Business owner of erincondren.com, which offers personalized planners, address labels, stationary, et cetera; Graphic designer, creative director, and marketing maniac!
how do you structure your time and space? I started my business from home and worked every minute the kids napped and slept at night. Long nights and pots of coffee brewed at 7:30 p.m. kept me fueled until my cut off at midnight. I would then go every night at midnight to Kinkos to get my printed sheets cut down to note cards. Crazy! My husband was extremely supportive, knowing we needed two incomes to live where we do. When the babies turned a year old, I hired part-time help and shared a nanny with a friend. Carmen came twodays a week and I would work nonstop from home while she went to the park with the kids, helped with laundry when they napped, et cetera.
As my business grew, so did hours with Carmen. Eventually, I merged with a larger fine art printing business 15-20 minutes from my home, and Carmen was with us full time. We were definitely a “mommy team!” Now that my kids are in school until 3:00, I share her time with my brother’s family who lives just a block away. How lucky am I?
The balance of going back to work “full time” with kids was really tough at first. I still sometimes have a guilty pang when I see all the activities and events that we just can’t get to. On the other hand, my children are so well-adjusted and very proud of what I do. I never hear them complain. Instead, they “brag” about mommy’s office, et cetera. et cetera. Since I do own my own business, I can steal away for school plays, teacher conferences and such. I dedicate one hour every two weeks in their classroom at school. They love that! My kids are in the same class, which might go against some twin parenting “rules,” but it has made life much easier for all of us for now. At some point they might request to be in separate classes, but for now it works beautifully for all of us.
I feel like my children are very active in extra-curricular activities, but nowhere near as much as many kids. I just can’t get them all around town in the middle of the day. I’m okay with that now and have a great group of friends and family close by that can help carpool when needed. I take six kids to school every morning since I leave for the office at the same time. I love our morning commute together! Five boys and my daughter are quite entertaining as we crank up Michael Jackson tunes and play “I Spy” and “Sweet and Sour” each morning on the way to school. I sure will miss these days. Next year we will be walking distance from our school, and the kiddos will all walk together.
using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,
-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? This season is SPRING! As the sun stays out longer, our family can play catch in the front yard after work and go on bike rides to dinner (with jackets!). This is my slow time at work, so I take this time to enjoy vacations with family. For spring break, we are staying in town, but going to local spots with the kids instead: Griffith Observatory, La Brea Tar Pits and more. Can’t wait.
-What season(s) preceded this one? WINTER. My busiest time of year is the fourth quarter, which includes calendar season, Christmas cards, and more. The hours are long, and often extend to the weekends. It is hard on me to be away from my family so much, but my husband and I tag-team and have worked through it enough to make it all work. It is never easy though, and I must admit that I sometimes dread that time of year!
-What season(s) might your future hold? SUMMER. My company is on fire with new HOT ideas, and I can’t wait for longer days and more energy to make things happen. We will soon heat our pool, which means nightly swims after work with my kids — my favorite thing to do!
80’s day at Erin’s office
favorite family activities: We love to ride bikes along the beach and stop for Mexican food on the pier (which includes margaritas for mommy!). We also LOVE to tent camp!!! Yes, real tent camping…well, Condren style. My husband is an incredible cook and brings all his commercial equipment, even a deep fryer for tempura shrimp! We don’t have the typical hot dogs and chips at our camp; it’s all about the food and fun! We recently took an RV trip and decided we prefer tent camping in many ways.
Having two eightyear olds is such a joy. Life is so simple these days. The early years are all such a blur. We just struggled and juggled to get througheach day with newborn premies. This makes us appreciate the carefree life we lead with our “grown up” kids now!
favorite solo activities: Boy, this is a tough one. I really don’t have time (nor do I make time) for much “solo” activity. My mom tells me I never liked to be alone as a child, and I guess that still stands. I would like to say that I read, but I really don’t make time for that either. Someday I would love to be in a book club or just pour through novels and best sellers. For now, my favorite “alone” time is spent shopping on the web. I do love shopping online and waiting for the boxes to arrive. It feels like Christmas each time, like I didn’t really spend the money — Santa did!
sources of inspiration: I love to read home décor magazines. My favorite is an English publication called, Living, etc. Seeing new color trends, fabrics, furniture and art always inspires me at home and in my career. I am very “trendy” and don’t spend a lot of money on my interiors at home. With small kids and a packed social calendar at “Club Condren,” it’s not worth the investment. Thumbing through the pages gives me great ideas to inexpensively update my home with an accent wall or new area rug. The trends I see in magazines are creative boosts that inspire new designs on my website too!
best MakeShift moment: My mom taught me the trick of letting the babies play with pots and pans while attempting to cook a meal. It used to drive my husband nuts because it was so loud as they clanked lids and slammed pots on the floor (not good on wood, but who cared at that point?). At least it gave me about tenminutes to tear open a Trader Joe’s bag and call it dinner!
find erin on the web at
follow on twitter: erincondren
follow on facebook: erincondren.com
i’ll admit that the first time i ventured a glance at a mother who clutched tightly to her child by way of a leash, i was overtaken by a single emotion: JUDGEMENT. and then, after i ranted to my pre-motherhood self about the fact that children are not animals, i made fun of this crazy, leash-toting mama, and all such mamas of her kind.
fate is a conniving little justice-seeker though, and many years after i unleashed this harsh judgement, i gave birth to… a bolter. here is the technical definition of a bolter for those who are not familiar:
bolter: noun, a recalcitrant toddler prone to sudden dashes, runs, flights, or escapes, commonly in areas of high vehicle traffic such as parking lots.
i diagnosed the monkey with this condition when i was no less than eight months pregnant with the bird and on modified bed rest. a leisurely outing to the cupcake bakery turned quickly into a 100-yard-dash across the black asphalt. the monkey was laughing. i was crying, partly because the event scared me to death, and partly because some aspect of me must have known that the purchase of a leash could be in my future.
when i was pregnant with my first son, a wise mama told me that being a mom would make me feel like my heart was living outside of my body. this turned out to be an accurate description. as psychologist janna malamud smith puts is, “there is an enlarged sense of vulnerability…created by becoming a mother — and accepting the intimate mission of keeping a dependent being alive.”
as writer francine prose describes, “all at once, we realize what hostages to fortune we are, how fragile and precious life is — our own lives, and those of our children. even the bravest of us may find ourselves transformed almost beyond recognition into skittish, nervous versions of our former selves.”
i’m thinking about purchasing the above-pictured leash for the monkey. (it’s perfect for him, right?) i’m certain that i’ll be on the receiving end of the kind of judgment i dished out so naively before… before my wild and reckless heart was living outside of my body… before i wanted to tie a string around it and never let it go.
[sources for this post can be found on the bibliography page on the sidebar to your right.]
[don’t forget to enter the billboard bag GIVEAWAY found in saturday’s post.]
[for a chance to win “the billboard bag,” check out saturday’s post… now on to today’s main event!]
first name: Jessa
age: 31
current city: Denver, CO
living situation: I share a teeny student apartment with my husband, Eric, and our sweet sons, Eli (two and a half) and Amos (seven months).
occupation: Website & Newsletter Designer and more recently, a barely-professional crafter
how do you structure your time and space? Many of our days end up structured like this: We have a kid-centered activity in the morning, be it a play date, a trip to the Children’s Museum or the park, et cetera. Then we lunch and Eli naps around one. Amos’ nap schedule is loose, but we try for substantial naps in the morning and afternoon. Eli will often sleep until five (FIVE!) p.m. Then we have an evening of play and dinner before the boys hit the hay around seven. Many nights I’m on my own to do dinner and bedtimes. After seven, I take the time to relax, work, craft, and commune with the hubby.
I keep perpetual to-do lists going of house stuff, job stuff, and craft stuff, and I tend to these lists in fits and starts throughout the day. If things line up well enough that the boys snooze simultaneously, I rush to my sewing machine and craft feverishly until smoke rises from us both.
On Wednesday and Friday mornings, Eli has preschool from 9:00 – 2:30. I dedicate these days to whatever feels most pressing to me at the time. Sometimes I work. Sometimes I craft. Sometimes I clean. Sometimes I visit with friends. But I am always reminded on these days how much easier it is to just have one child in my charge.
I work from home, so figuring out when to do what can be tricky. I have some set deadlines that provide a little structure, and then I go to my to-do lists and try to knock out one item each day. I pick the to-do to be done by using one of two factors:
using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,
-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? Highlights are many. The days are lovely with baby snuggles and toddler humor. Often, I feel so lucky that this is my job – to goof off with my boys. I love that I have time to be crafty and that I have perfect subjects for my crafting ventures. Since in past seasons I felt a sense of mastery in my job as a potter, I’m happy that I can feel that same sense of skill and accomplishment as a mama and through my creative dabblings.
It’s also a highlight that I’m finding time and ways to care for myself. Eric is so willing and happy to give me time away when he can. So I get to go to movies or out with friends pretty frequently. I also recently planned a gals’ long weekend called “LadyFest” so that my best lady friends and I could be refreshed and revitalized by each other. LadyFest will be an annual event!
Time management is a challenge in this season since our lives are not very structured. Also, hauling two kids, their gear, and the things we’ve acquired on our errands up to our third floor walk-up is quite a feat. Finally, since much of my time is spent doing fun stuff, I often get in a rut of telling myself that I “should” be doing more. Sometimes it’s hard to remember that I’m doing exactly what I’m supposed to be doing. I have a great title to the book I’m going to write about this problem:
Get a Grip: Stop Shoulding All Over Yourself!
I try to remind myself that just being me, and being a mama, is enough. In fact, it’s pretty awesome.
-What season(s) preceded this one? The season previous to motherhood was the season of Decker-Smith Pottery. I was a potter with a surprisingly successful wholesale business, and I provided pottery to galleries across the U.S. It was a season of purpose, pride, a lot of work, some self-doubt, and a beloved craft.
I loved being a potter and I miss it tremendously. It is a major part of my identity that is on hold at the moment. But I really am glad it is. For my first pregnancy I worked like a dog. I worked 14 hour days regularly, hunching behind my wheel or standing all day glazing. I fired kilns for 16 hours. I even unloaded a kiln while I was in labor, before I went to the hospital. After Eli was born I never allowed myself to rest because there were always pots to make. For the first year of his life, somehow, I did all this work with him in tow. Looking back, it was exhausting and foolish, and the costs were not worth the benefits. Now that my second son is an infant, I am thankful to be free of the constant pressure of running my own business. I can slow down, let myself relax, enjoy my boys, and happily devote time to just being their mama.
-What season(s) might your future hold? The season on the horizon involves selling my crafty wares. I just opened my Etsy shop, Happily Home Sewn, to peddle the items I make. I think this will be a more manageable way to work as a crafter then running Decker-Smith Pottery was because I will be able to make what I want, offer it on my etsy shop, and see what happens. I won’t have huge gallery orders and deadlines hanging over me all the time.
I don’t anticipate this season bringing many additional challenges. It will require a season of research and development to learn how to make a successful etsy shop. But, as far as putting more on my plate – well, I’m already perpetually crafting, so I think this will feel like a manageable shift.
I anticipate the seasons will shift again in a few years when Eric completes his PhD. I look forward to this season because we will have him around more and we will have more time for family. I think he will feel much more relaxed and less stressed. There may also be job changes and a move in this season.
favorite family activities: playdates with our buddies, eating out together, taking the boys to the movies, family trips (especially to the beach), walking around campus where we live (Our favorite spots are the fish pond and very cool trees for climbing, playing under, and collecting buckeyes.), crafting with the boys, gymnastics class, sporting events
favorite solo activities: MOVIES. I’m a movie addict. They don’t even have to be quality flicks. I’m in; Hanging with girlfriends; Being crafty.
sources of inspiration: funky shops (especially fabric and craft shops), taking sewing classes, crafty books, mama/crafty blogs, and my boys! Also, my mom (Yaya) is the queen of making something fun from nothing. One of Eli’s favorite spots on campus is the “Yaya Tree” where she kept him entertained for hours one day. She taught him about walking sticks and moss furniture and pine needle buildings. I want to be like that.
best MakeShift moment: My entire attempt to continue being a potter after Eli was born was a makeshift moment. In my home studio a Johnny Jumper hung from the ceiling in front of my wheel. At the co-op where I glazed and fired (where Eli and I spent 16 hour days working) I set up a mini nursery for him complete with areas to play, eat, and sleep. I wore him on my body in a variety of slings and packs. We just made it work.
I have to makeshift a lot in our tiny apartment so we don’t get cabin fever. We walk somewhere nearly every day and have found many nearby places to keep us entertained. We use the campus like our own big back yard and have regular adventures there.
It has recently occurred to me that my white board is a great example of a Make-shifting. I got it just after Amos was born because my postpartum brain is scattered and quick. So I used it to write down stuff before it left my brain. The makeshift moment that happens there is never pre-meditated. My white board has become the ultimate happy distraction. I discovered this power when my son was having a post-nap-still-groggy-inconsolable freakout. I was carrying him around the house nearing my wits’ end, when I walked past the white board and started drawing vehicles. I narrated while I drew and he was mesmerized and calmed. Now we draw something on there for every holiday, friend visit, special day, or heck, Tuesday.
Also, one day Eli got into the big bag o’ birdseed in the kitchen. So I dragged it out on the porch and let him fill the bird feeder. It took the mess out of my kitchen and onto the porch. It kept him happily occupied for a ridiculously long time. It gave us an opportunity to talk about what a nice thing it is to help animals and how happy it was going to make the birds and he even likes to sweep the seed off the porch when he’s done! Now, our budding St. Francis does this about twice the week, including, coincidentally, right now as I answer this questionnaire!
find jessa on the web at
[the photo of jessa pottery was taken by tim barnwell.]
goodbye, beach. we’ve got a long car trip ahead of us today, but you were worth it.
[update: check out this post, which reveals the winner of the billboard bag! http://www.themsrevolution.com/2010/04/05/billboard-bag-winner/]
our little revolution turned one month old yesterday! isn’t she just the cutest thing? sure, she still wakes me in the early morning like all newborns do but i don’t mind. there are just so many things to celebrate!
…or shall i say people?
i’m new to this bloggy thing but it seems to me that this would be a good time for a giveaway. one lucky winner will score “the billboard bag!”
here’s the story on the billboard bag. i recently purchased some jeans from a fancy little boutique in memphis. the first pair ripped when i leaned down to pick up the bird during a trip to the botanic gardens (yes, this was mortifying). the second pair made it home with the alarm thingy still attached. the third pair unzipped themselves fiftyleven times while the boys and i were at the zoo. the fourth pair are excellent! ANYWAY, since i returned to the boutique four times in two weeks, i had ample time to eye, admire, and finally, photograph a cute little spring bag. i was already thinking about how i could construct one of these for myself when i noticed the bag on a billboard advertisement for yet another fancy little boutique. i made a simple pattern, and much to my delight, the bag turned out great!
the bag pictured above is my new purse/diaper bag/briefcase/mobile disaster preparedness kit. but i will happily make a similar bag for one lucky winner. here’s how to enter:
for one chance to win:
for additional chances to win:
be sure to include your email address in your comment (will not be published) so that i can contact the winner. the contest will end at midnight on saturday, april 3rd.
first name: Crystal
age: 37
current city: Memphis
living situation: First, it is important to know that I am surrounded by males. Even our pets are all male. I live with my husband of almost eight years, Chris, and our son, Samuel (2). We also share our home every other weekend with our other son, Andrew (10), who lives with his mom on a full-time basis. We have a dog, Rudy, and two cats, Tiger and Willis. We live in Mid-town and adore our block which is full of other children. There is never a dull moment!
occupation: Rehabilitation Counselor
how do you structure your time and space? I am blessed to have worked from home since the time I returned from maternity leave. I changed jobs within the university for which I work, and this change allowed me to telecommute since our main office is in Knoxville. Since that time, my approach to a balanced division has evolved…with the development of Samuel. He was just five months old when I began my new position and will be three this summer. He has been home with me full-time until just this past week when he began a Parents Day Out program two days a week.
I have total freedom to construct my day the way I would like. This allows me to take Samuel to the library, the zoo, or just have an “at home day” where the playroom gets a lot of use (my office is right off the playroom which makes it easy to do a quick email check). My first priority is Samuel, and I fear that my work sometimes suffers as a result. However, my boss is pleased with my work product, and he is supportive of my time with Samuel. He is also clear about my priorities. A prime example of this is when I was breastfeeding Samuel but had several work trips to attend. I made it clear that Samuel would need to come with me (along with my husband and/or a grandparent), and my boss agreed. I worked, attended meetings, and took breaks to breastfeed and put Samuel down for his naps. My first work trip without Samuel was when he was almost two!
On the other hand, the most challenging division of time has been home making and self-care. I am coming out of that fog now but it has been difficult to find the time (or care to find the time) to do either. I am paying for that now and am trying to turn the focus back to things that I once would never have imagined letting go of: namely ME!
using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,
-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? As a “good Southern woman,” I have become quite good at taking care of everyone else! But, within the last year, I have been diagnosed with a chronic illness which means that I MUST take care of myself. But how does that get done when I am already wishing for more time in the day?
It is also challenging to keep Samuel occupied while I am working from home. Thus far we have made it work, and the addition of Parents Day Out should help. He started this past week and has done amazingly well! We are SO proud of him!
There are so many highlights of this season. I was able to breastfeed Samuel until 15 ½ months and prepare all of his baby food myself. I have been present for every milestone and developmental stride in Samuel’s life. I chronicled his first two years (as much as possible) on a timeline, using calendars and marking experiences, words and achievements. I have also been able to travel with my family and give our children experiences that will last a lifetime…all while working. Oh, and we can’t forget the highlight of logging into work most mornings in my pajamas!
-What season(s) preceded this one? It seems like a lifetime ago, but my season prior to having a child went something like this: graduate school, various positions of increasing responsibility, and my eyes set on pursuing a PhD. Motherhood blindsided me. I just knew I would be going back to work in my office job but when Samuel turned one week old, I spent most of the day crying at the prospect of returning to work. So when the telecommuting option came up, I couldn’t resist the opportunity. The biggest down side is a 60 percent pay cut. OUCH! But, the sacrifice has been well worth it in our eyes.
-What season(s) might your future hold? I often remind myself that I still have 35 more working years! So, I believe I will return to the career- focused woman that I once was. However, I will never put that career focus ahead of my family. I envision a season filled with continued flexibility and control of my days. Telecommuting will likely not come to an end for me anytime soon. I have become too spoiled!
favorite family activities: cooking, games, going to the zoo, time spent at the Memphis Drum Shop, “picnics” (complete with a blanket on the floor) where we eat dinner while watching a movie, reading, having dance parties
favorite solo activities: baking, cake-decorating, graphic design, photography, and glass blowing
sources of inspiration: color in nature; my children; the quiet, still moments that don’t come often enough these days
best MakeShift moment: Occasionally, it is not possible to schedule my phone meetings and/or conference calls while Samuel is napping. On one such occasion, I was on a conference call with a planning committee. I held the phone on MUTE as long as I could until my boss called on me (unexpectedly) to share information on a particular project. I knew Samuel was safe but he was not being quiet at the moment, so I shoved a Pottery Barn catalog in his hands, and ran into the next room where I was still able to see him. I fumbled with the phone, unmuted it and proceeded with my response. Whew…crisis diverted!
[if you know someone who would make a good “mothers of invention” feature, please check out the nomination process info located in the sidebar to your right.]
i think about my childhood a lot these days, as i am now in charge of someone else’s (two someones, actually). and what i remember most about being so new in the world are all of the beautiful, fun, interesting, and delicious things my parents showed my brother and me. i will never forget the first time they took us to fall creek falls state park, and we got see and walk behind this waterfall:
or the time our family spent a few nights in new orleans, and my parents took my brother and me to cafe du monde for beignets. they were almost giddy when i took my first yummy bite. now i know the feeling.
but perhaps the most recurring such events in my childhood were our trips to the gulf coast, the same coast i’m looking at now as i type and as the monkey and bird sleep. my parents started by showing us the ocean. then they taught my brother and me to ride its waves, mine if for shells, and make castles in its surf. and when we got a little older, they taught us to settle down beside it with a good book.
but what i remember most about my introduction to the world’s wonders is that it felt, at the time, as if my parents had invented all of these things just for my brother and me. whether we were wading in a creek in middle tennessee, riding the tube in london, or eating my dad’s saturday morning pancakes, it felt as if my parents were letting their children in on a set of sweet secrets conjured up merely for our benefit.
my parents didn’t invent the world’s wonders for us, of course, nor are my husband and i inventing them for our boys. but there is something so accurate about my childhood idea of my parents as inventors. the world is full of so much potential for happiness, sadness, and every emotion in between. and though much of life is spent coping and grieving those things that are beyond our control, we can continue to invent lives for ourselves that embrace what is beautiful, fun, interesting, and delicious.
being a parent is a constant reminder of this redeeming truth. it takes us back to the basic goodness of life, and while we are opening our kids to this goodness, we cannot help but open up to it again ourselves.
i can tell that the monkey and bird are already starting to become inventors. not inventors of the ocean and beignets, of course, but little people who are blazing new trails to the earth’s gifts, trails to which i hope they return, again and again.
p.s. i refrained (pardon the pun) from covering the wonders of music in this post, for reasons i have stated earlier.
