first name: Crystal

age: 37

current city:  Memphis

living situation: First, it is important to know that I am surrounded by males. Even our pets are all male. I live with my husband of almost eight years, Chris, and our son, Samuel (2). We also share our home every other weekend with our other son, Andrew (10), who lives with his mom on a full-time basis. We have a dog, Rudy, and two cats, Tiger and Willis. We live in Mid-town and adore our block which is full of other children. There is never a dull moment!

occupation: Rehabilitation Counselor

how do you structure your time and space? I am blessed to have worked from home since the time I returned from maternity leave. I changed jobs within the university for which I work, and this change allowed me to telecommute since our main office is in Knoxville. Since that time, my approach to a balanced division has evolved…with the development of Samuel. He was just five months old when I began my new position and will be three this summer. He has been home with me full-time until just this past week when he began a Parents Day Out program two days a week.

I have total freedom to construct my day the way I would like. This allows me to take Samuel to the library, the zoo, or just have an “at home day” where the playroom gets a lot of use  (my office is right off the playroom which makes it easy to do a quick email check). My first priority is Samuel, and I fear that my work sometimes suffers as a result. However, my boss is pleased with my work product, and he is supportive of my time with Samuel. He is also clear about my priorities. A prime example of this is when I was breastfeeding Samuel but had several work trips to attend. I made it clear that Samuel would need to come with me (along with my husband and/or a grandparent), and my boss agreed. I worked, attended meetings, and took breaks to breastfeed and put Samuel down for his naps. My first work trip without Samuel was when he was almost two!

On the other hand, the most challenging division of time has been home making and self-care. I am coming out of that fog now but it has been difficult to find the time (or care to find the time) to do either. I am paying for that now and am trying to turn the focus back to things that I once would never have imagined letting go of: namely ME!

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? As a “good Southern woman,” I have become quite good at taking care of everyone else! But, within the last year, I have been diagnosed with a chronic illness which means that I MUST take care of myself. But how does that get done when I am already wishing for more time in the day?

It is also challenging to keep Samuel occupied while I am working from home. Thus far we have made it work, and the addition of Parents Day Out should help. He started this past week and has done amazingly well! We are SO proud of him!

There are so many highlights of this season. I was able to breastfeed Samuel until 15 ½ months and prepare all of his baby food myself. I have been present for every milestone and developmental stride in Samuel’s life. I chronicled his first two years (as much as possible) on a timeline, using calendars and marking experiences, words and achievements. I have also been able to travel with my family and give our children experiences that will last a lifetime…all while working. Oh, and we can’t forget the highlight of logging into work most mornings in my pajamas!    

-What season(s) preceded this one? It seems like a lifetime ago, but my season prior to having a child went something like this: graduate school, various positions of increasing responsibility, and my eyes set on pursuing a PhD. Motherhood blindsided me. I just knew I would be going back to work in my office job but when Samuel turned one week old, I spent most of the day crying at the prospect of returning to work. So when the telecommuting option came up, I couldn’t resist the opportunity. The biggest down side is a 60 percent pay cut. OUCH! But, the sacrifice has been well worth it in our eyes.

-What season(s) might your future hold? I often remind myself  that I still have 35 more working years! So, I believe I will return to the career- focused woman that I once was. However, I will never put that career focus ahead of my family. I envision a season filled with continued flexibility and control of my days. Telecommuting will likely not come to an end for me anytime soon. I have become too spoiled!    

favorite family activities: cooking, games, going to the zoo, time spent at the Memphis Drum Shop,  “picnics” (complete with a blanket on the floor) where we eat dinner while watching a movie, reading, having dance parties

favorite solo activities: baking, cake-decorating, graphic design, photography, and glass blowing

sources of inspiration: color in nature; my children; the quiet, still moments that don’t come often enough these days

best MakeShift moment: Occasionally, it is not possible to schedule my phone meetings and/or conference calls while Samuel is napping. On one such occasion, I was on a conference call with a planning committee. I held the phone on MUTE as long as I could until my boss called on me (unexpectedly) to share information on a particular project. I knew Samuel was safe but he was not being quiet at the moment, so I shoved a Pottery Barn catalog in his hands, and ran into the next room where I was still able to see him. I fumbled with the phone, unmuted it and proceeded with my response. Whew…crisis diverted!

[if you know someone who would make a good “mothers of invention” feature, please check out the nomination process info located in the sidebar to your right.]