name: Virginia Reed Murphy

age: 41

current city: Memphis, TN

living situation: I live in a house with:

• my husband, Joe
• boy one, Abel (age five)
• boy two, Harlan (age three)
• man child,  Josh, ( age 21) (He’s a college student and an actor in my theatre company.)

occupation: I am the director of Playback Memphis, a professional improv theatre group that animates audience members’ personal stories using movement, music, metaphor, and the spoken word. In addition, my husband and I co-direct an interactive children’s music program called Music for Aardvarks, Memphis.

how do you structure your time and space? Our life mirrors our Playback work in that there is a loose structure and a lot of room for variation in the moment. One constant is that, for the first time ever, both kids go to school every day from  8:30 to 3:15. Before, both boys got out at 11:30 a.m. and honestly, I have no idea how we ran two small businesses with that scenario. It was pretty nuts.

Another constant is yoga. I go three times a week — usually twice to Bikram, which is stinky and sweaty, and once a week to Lou Hoyt’s Iyengar class at Eastern Sun. Yoga is essential for my neck, it counteracts my extended computer time, and it also prevents me from being institutionalized. (I really believe that I would be a danger to myself and others without the practice. It’s incomprehensible to me how people live without it.)

We have an office at First Congo, a church that is a  block and a half from our house. Sometimes I work there and sometimes I work at home. I would like to make better use of the office. But when I feel pressed for time, I usually stay home to save myself the 15 minutes it takes to pack up the computer and make the block and a half. Very silly. I really do long for my home to be a refuge from work, but when you run your own businesses, that just isn’t reality. It’s with you always.

In addition to their time in school, my children spend time with my mother and Josh. This is awesome. I think every family with two small children should have a Josh living with them. He’s wonderful with the kids and very responsible and creative. I just love that my kids are learning from and relating to him.

My days are completely improvisational and never look the same. The seasons of work dictate much of how I spend my time with the tasks of fundraising for Playback, promoting a new semester for Aardvarks,
meetings with clients, doing administrative work, vision questing about how to grow Aardvarks and Playback, putting together a Playback promo video, and my least favorite activity: bookkeeping. I wear a lot of hats and would very much like an assistant, but we can’t afford one. I’m exploring the intern option.

My homemaking happens in spurts. I really love the idea of living in a space where I experience beauty and creativity as well as order. However, this just feels impossible for me to maintain for any length of time. For example, I had piles of found Mississippi River bank drift wood sitting around my house for months. My kids would be chasing each other with five-foot-long pieces until I finally I made a sculpture for the wall. There is often laundry strewn all over the house, and although I have a system for separating clothes when we wash (towels, our clothes, kids clothes), most of the time the clothes never get put away, so it’s really a pointless system. And I have NO idea how anyone ever puts matching socks on their kids. I’m lucky if a find two socks. I’ve also never brushed my kids’ hair. Fortunately, they can pull it off – I think I would be in a bad way if I had girls.

Dinner is this whole other beast in home-making that I never manage to get a hold of. Sometimes I feed the kids hotdogs and tater tots and let them watch something on Netflix. (We have no TV, but again, what’s the point in having no TV if you park your kids in front of Netflix? I guess rules and structure exist to be broken in our household.) On these evenings, Joe and I drink beer and forgo plates as we stuff ourselves with pita and hummus. Then there are the nights where I get super ambitious and start something from Moosewood Simple Suppers at five o’clock and forget to feed my kids anything. Naturally, by 5:30 they are writhing on the floor in tandem tantrums (usually one of them is naked), the kitchen is a disaster, and I’m thinking, “why in God’s name did I decide tonight was the night for Navajo Stew? My kids won’t even eat it.” And then sometimes I manage to put together some deliciousness that everyone enjoys, and we manage to clean all the work off the dining room table and hold hands and sing the Montessori blessing and the world is right again. All case scenarios are equally us. I guess you could say we have wide range.

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? The biggest challenge is that we don’t make enough money, and I am tired of going into Walgreens and having to think for ten minutes if buying a new toothbrush is a “need” or a “want.” Also, more financial stablility would decrease stress and allow Joe and me to have some more time for just us. For example, we could have date nights that do not entail consuming hummus, pita, and beer while the kids watch TV. Among the many highlights of our current season is the fact that the nature of our work allows us to have a lot of great family time together. Our personal and professional lives are very integrated (meaning we’ve made amazing friends from both the Aardvarks and Playback worlds) and we feel very rooted in our community. We are trying to be the change we want to see in the world (and especially in Memphis) with both Aardvarks and Playback, and although this is challenging at times, it’s an incredible journey for us and our lives are so much richer for it in all the ways that matter.

-what season(s) preceded this one? Imagining and planning the garden I wanted to grow.

-what season(s) might your future hold? I’m hoping that now that the harvest is coming in, I can find some people to give me a good price so I can keep the farm.

favorite family activities: In nice weather we like to bike ride or go to the sandbar at Shelby Forest —  a ridiculously underutilized, best big nature experience in Memphis. We also go camping a lot in Arkansas. This takes a crazy amount of work , but our life is just kind of one crazy production anyway, so we’re used to it. My husband is from farm stock, so he is really good at this kind of thing and the payoff is huge when I see the boys in their full nakedness throwing rocks in that beautiful stream. Joe and I have far too few date nights due to lack of funds, but if I could I would take him to Las Vegas to see Cirque de Soleil’s LOVE. I went with my sisters-in-law a couple of years ago, and now I have this whole new appreciation for the vision of an adult playground. I always snubbed my nose, but if we could take a weekend that would be up there for a top pick.

favorite solo activities: I’m sorry what?

source(s) of inspiration: humanity, our playback company, Aardvarks families, and amazingly talented friends

best MakeShift moment: Harlan used to be obsessed with pretending he was driving in the parked car. Sometimes I would bring the New York Times in the car and lie down in the backseat while he drove. Sometimes I would actually just leave him in the car while I did something inside. One day I came out and he was gone, which completely freaked me out. Every worst case scenario imagineable was running through my mind. It turns out he had found his way into our neighbor’s sports car and was behind the wheel (a much fancier ride). Hilarious, but really not. You shouldn’t leave your two-year-old unattended in a parked car. Creative perhaps, but quite foolish. Good story though. I walk a fine line.

virginia invites memphians to enjoy this weekend’s playback performances:

find virginia on the web:

• music for aardvarks, memphis: http://www.memphisaardvarks.com/
• playback memphis: http://www.playbackmemphis.com/

[if you or someone you know would make a good “mother of invention,” please check out the nomination process and questionnaire located on the sidebar to your right.]

[don’t forget to enter the “the billboard bag,” giveaway on saturday’s post… now, meet erin!]

first name: Erin Condren

age: 40! Yes, 40!

current city: I live in Hermosa Beach, CA and work in El Segundo (15 minute commute).

living situation: I live with my husband, Hilary (yes, he is a man), and twin children, Kate and Finn, who will be nine on July 24th.

occupation: Business owner of erincondren.com, which offers personalized planners, address labels, stationary, et cetera; Graphic designer, creative director, and marketing maniac!

how do you structure your time and space? I started my business from home and worked every minute the kids napped and slept at night. Long nights and pots of coffee brewed at 7:30 p.m. kept me fueled until my cut off at midnight. I would then go every night at midnight to Kinkos to get my printed sheets cut down to note cards. Crazy! My husband was extremely supportive, knowing we needed two incomes to live where we do. When the babies turned a year old, I hired part-time help and shared a nanny with a friend. Carmen came twodays a week and I would work nonstop from home while she went to the park with the kids, helped with laundry when they napped, et cetera.

As my business grew, so did hours with Carmen. Eventually, I merged with a larger fine art printing business 15-20 minutes from my home, and Carmen was with us full time. We were definitely a “mommy team!” Now that my kids are in school until 3:00, I share her time with my brother’s family who lives just a block away. How lucky am I?

The balance of going back to work “full time” with kids was really tough at first. I still sometimes have a guilty pang when I see all the activities and events that we just can’t get to. On the other hand, my children are so well-adjusted and very proud of what I do. I never hear them complain. Instead, they “brag” about mommy’s office, et cetera. et cetera. Since I do own my own business, I can steal away for school plays, teacher conferences and such. I dedicate one hour every two weeks in their classroom at school. They love that! My kids are in the same class, which might go against some twin parenting “rules,” but it has made life much easier for all of us for now. At some point they might request to be in separate classes, but for now it works beautifully for all of us.

I feel like my children are very active in extra-curricular activities, but nowhere near as much as many kids. I just can’t get them all around town in the middle of the day. I’m okay with that now and have a great group of friends and family close by that can help carpool when needed. I take six kids to school every morning since I leave for the office at the same time. I love our morning commute together! Five boys and my daughter are quite entertaining as we crank up Michael Jackson tunes and play “I Spy” and “Sweet and Sour” each morning on the way to school. I sure will miss these days. Next year we will be walking distance from our school, and the kiddos will all walk together.

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? This season is SPRING! As the sun stays out longer, our family can play catch in the front yard after work and go on bike rides to dinner (with jackets!). This is my slow time at work, so I take this time to enjoy vacations with family. For spring break, we are staying in town, but going to local spots with the kids instead: Griffith Observatory, La Brea Tar Pits and more. Can’t wait.

-What season(s) preceded this one? WINTER.  My busiest time of year is the fourth quarter, which includes calendar season, Christmas cards, and more. The hours are long, and often extend to the weekends. It is hard on me to be away from my family so much, but my husband and I tag-team and have worked through it enough to make it all work. It is never easy though, and I must admit that I sometimes dread that time of year!

-What season(s) might your future hold? SUMMER. My company is on fire with new HOT ideas, and I can’t wait for longer days and more energy to make things happen. We will soon heat our pool, which means nightly swims after work with my kids — my favorite thing to do!

80’s day at Erin’s office

favorite family activities: We love to ride bikes along the beach and stop for Mexican food on the pier (which includes margaritas for mommy!). We also LOVE to tent camp!!! Yes, real tent camping…well, Condren style. My husband is an incredible cook and brings all his commercial equipment, even a deep fryer for tempura shrimp! We don’t have the typical hot dogs and chips at our camp; it’s all about the food and fun! We recently took an RV trip and decided we prefer tent camping in many ways.

Having two eightyear olds is such a joy. Life is so simple these days. The early years are all such a blur.  We just struggled and juggled to get througheach day with newborn premies. This makes us appreciate the carefree life we lead with our “grown up” kids now!

favorite solo activities: Boy, this is a tough one. I really don’t have time (nor do I make time) for much “solo” activity. My  mom tells me I never liked to be alone as a child, and I guess that still stands. I would  like to say that I read, but I really don’t make time for that either. Someday I would love to be in a book club or just pour through novels and best sellers. For now, my favorite “alone” time is spent shopping on the web. I do love shopping online and waiting for the boxes to arrive. It feels like Christmas each time, like I didn’t really spend the money — Santa did! 

sources of inspiration: I love to read home décor magazines. My favorite is an English publication called, Living, etc.  Seeing new color trends, fabrics, furniture and art always inspires me at home and in my career. I am very “trendy” and don’t spend a lot of money on my interiors at home. With small kids and a packed social calendar at “Club Condren,” it’s not worth the investment. Thumbing through the pages gives me great ideas to inexpensively update my home with an accent wall or new area rug. The trends I see in magazines are creative boosts that inspire new designs on my website too! 

best MakeShift moment: My mom taught me the trick of letting the babies play with pots and pans while attempting to cook a meal. It used to drive my husband nuts because it was so loud as they clanked lids and slammed pots on the floor (not good on wood, but who cared at that point?). At least it gave me about tenminutes to tear open a Trader Joe’s bag and call it dinner!

find erin on the web at 

• www.erincondren.com
• www.erincondren.com/blog

follow on twitter: erincondren

follow on facebook: erincondren.com