there are few hardships in parenting that cannot be ameliorated by a little construction paper and paint wielded by three-year-old hands. i have been waiting a long time for this: my first little hand-crafted mother’s day gift.

this, my friends, is a “book,” and inside are these hilarious bits of  (mis)percieved trivia:

in case you are having trouble reading the fine print, let me highlight the fact that the monkey thinks i weigh 22 pounds. perhaps i could ride around all day in his pocket! he is correct that my name  is mary allison, my hair is brown, my favorite colors are red and purple, and my passion for steam mopping abounds. apparently, he also correctly asserted that my favorite beverage is wine, but his teacher insisted upon jotting down water instead, which is no fun at all!  

i love my new book so much that i decided to create one right here in this blog for my own mother. mom, i’m sorry that yours does not have a fancy cover like the one the monkey made for me. actually, i think i’ll let this picture serve as the cover:

1979ish

and now for the good stuff:

• what is your mother’s name? sally, or “silly sally” to her grandchildren
• how old is she? early sixties
• how much does she weigh? 22 pounds. (you’re welcome.)
• what color is her hair? red (you’re welcome, again!)
• what does she do around the house? sew fabulous clothes for my kids
• what is her favorite thing to drink? gin and tonic
• what is her favorite thing to eat? the cuisine at tsunami. i’ve also heard her talk about how much she loves ice cream sandwiches.
• what is her favorite tv show? big love, desperate housewives, parenthood… when i was little she liked l.a. law
• what does she cook? pork tenderloin, cheese grits, broccoli, and salad
• where does she like to go? montreat, north carolina, t.j. maxx
• what is her favorite color? hmmm… not sure. green?

and here are a few more questions just for fun:

favorite tradition passed down by your mother: my mom used to sing a little made-up song to me at bedtime that her father used to sing to her mother. now my husband and i sing it to our kids.

best parenting advice your mother ever gave you: my mom told me that parenting is just one act of letting go after the next. if you do it well, she said, your children never even know you’re doing it. i never knew my mom was letting go, so she must have done it well!

silly sally, the bird, and me with our friend ruth

has your mother ever done anything that would be good fodder for an episode of “i love lucy?” why yes, she has! when i was six or seven, some friends and i took a break from playing outside to procure chocolate milk from our kitchen. my mom was there painting the shutters navy blue. somehow, she managed to drop the paint can, and the contents splashed up in her face!!! her whole face was blue. it was awesome.

happy mother’s day, mom! i love you. and happy mother’s day to all of my fellow moms. i hope your gifts are as priceless as the monkey’s musings.