first name: Sharon

age: 37

current city: Memphis

living situation: I live with my husband of almost 15 years and two daughters, ages nine and five.

occupation: I am a full-time mom and a part-time psychologist.

how do you structure your time and space? I work as a psychologist about 15 hours per week on Mondays and Wednesdays (while the kids are in school) and Friday afternoons (when my husband is off work and caring for the kids). I try to do most of the laundry, cleaning, de-cluttering, and other random household and personal tasks on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I also meet with a group of friends most Tuesdays after lunch to discuss our dreams (both aspirational and nocturnal). Friday mornings I spend with my husband–running errands, having a lunch date, and just generally reconnecting. Weekends are family time. 

It’s a little harder during the summer. I hire a sitter for only the hours I need to see clients, which makes it challenging to keep up with paperwork and housework. But, in general, this schedule works well for our family. I’m happy to have found a rewarding way to stay involved in my profession and keep my license active while also being able to pick the kids up from school most days and chaperon the occasional field trip. 

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives, 

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? Having grown up in Texas, where the seasons are Hot, Hotter, and Slightly Less Hot, I’m having a hard time using the seasons metaphor for my life. But, whatever you want to call it, this is a really good season. We are all happy with our work/school arrangements; we have great friends; our church is a loving and nurturing environment for all of us; and we live within walking distance of our daughters’ school, a first-rate zoo, and several parks and playgrounds.

-What season(s) preceded this one? The previous season was a transitional one for me. I had spent some time as a stay-at-home mom and was ready to find a way to practice psychology again. I had always thought I would simply go back to working in a college counseling center again, but when I received an offer to work at one full-time, I had to face the reality that I just wasn’t willing to give up the flexibility of being able to be present for homework, after-school snacks, and periodic field trips. That was the most difficult “no” I have ever said. Even though I was absolutely certain that it was the right decision, I was terrified that I wouldn’t find a way to be a part-time psychologist and a full-time mom, and that I would lose an important part of who I was. At the time, I wasn’t ready to launch into private practice, but I did find a place where I could work part-time. That work environment ended up being unhealthy for me, but it did provide me the opportunity to learn the skills I needed to eventually go into private practice.

-What season(s) might your future hold? I’m sure the future holds another transitional phase for me, but I have no idea when that may come about. Until then, I’m just enjoying everything that is great about the current season. This living fully in the present is a new skill for me, but I like it.

favorite family activities: Wii because it allows everyone to participate despite varying skill levels, vacationing (and visiting family) in Texas, board games, going out for sorbet.

favorite solo activities: Reading is my most loved solo activity. I’m usually working my way through several books at the same time—a mixture of non-fiction (especially psychology, neuroscience, religion/spirituality), children’s literature (because it’s fun and provides a special connection with my daughter who reads the same books), and adult fiction. I also enjoy yoga and journaling (the low-tech variety), but I have to admit I am somewhat sporadic with those practices.

sources of inspiration: My friends, my dreams, books, my husband’s sermons and other writings.

best MakeShift moment: I agree with others who have pointed out that parenting is a never-ending series of makeshift moments. But one of my favorite such moments was when my oldest daughter was three. Several of her friends in the seminary housing complex we lived in had butterfly nets, and she really wanted one. We looked everywhere, and there were none to be found in any store. So I took a small needlework hoop, plastic netting some bath toys had come in, a smooth stick from the playground, and some duct tape, and I constructed a little net for her. She loved it and played with it for many months afterward. In fact, it outlasted her friends’ store-bought nets. And the best part is that, as a result of this and other similar moments, my daughter thinks of me as “the parent who fixes things”, which I overheard her telling our younger daughter recently. That is a much better title than “the mom who doesn’t cook”, which is also true, and once prompted my four-year-old to exclaim, “How will we eat?!” when she learned her dad would be out of town for a while.

[if you or someone you know would make a good feature on the MakeShift revolution, please check out the questionnaire and nomination process located on the sidebar to your right.]