name: Jennifer McCullough

age: 33

current city: Memphis

living situation: I live with my four-year-old son, one fish, and one dog. We are currently living in a downtown condo while we try to sell our house. Living in two places is a comedy of errors.

occupation: mom; chef; and business owner of The Uptown Grocer, purveyor of upscale frozen meals.

how do you structure your time and space? I work out of the kitchen at Cafe Society Restaurant in midtown. It is just a two-minute drive to my son’s school, which allows me to maximize parenting time and working time. I pack a bag with running shoes and try to take a break at some point to get some exercise. Usually this is on “meatloaf day.” The loaves take exactly 55 minutes to cook, which gives me just enough time to do a wardrobe change, take a jog, get back into work clothes, and take those yummy meatloaves out of the oven. 

My son spends time with his father as well, but at times this has been a bit of a struggle because his father doesn’t live in Memphis. But we do our best to work with each other’s schedules so that my son has quality time with both parents. My parents are in town and take my son any time I am willing to part with him. I am very fortunate to have their support!

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? Being a single mom comes with its fair share of challenges. I often feel like one person trying to be two people, and I have to accomplish so much more when my child is at school (work, exercise, errands, et cetera). For example, if I run out of milk, I cannot simply make a quick solo trip to the grocery.

I have had to overcome a good bit of guilt when it comes to making time for myself. I frequently have to assure myself that exercising and doing other things to maintain my health and sanity are necessary, even if it means that I do these things while my son is at school or in another’s care.

In general, I am doing things differently than the way I always thought I would be doing them. For example, after months of thinking that my son needed to live in a house with a yard and in a neighborhood, I realized that the simplicity of condo-living is really much better for us. I had to say goodbye to the life I thought I would be living in order to fully live the one I’ve got. Now my son and I like to ride the downtown trolley to dinner. My son’s childhood is not like mine was but I have realized that no one way is better than the other. They’re just different.

-what season(s) preceded this one? The last five years have brought about a lot of changes: divorce, health issues, and two moves. I spent much of this time in survival mode, reacting to life’s circumstances. Starting my own business was my first step in becoming more proactive about my life. I did a lot of thinking about my talents and a path that might allow me to have both a fulfilling career and an active role in my son’s life.

Starting the Uptown Grocer was a gigantic leap of faith for me. In the beginning, I cooked and delivered weekly meals to my customers. There were some nights when I cooked from my son’s bedtime until 3:00 in the morning. This was miserable! But I kept moving forward and resisting the temptation to become paralyzed. Even when decisions led to dead ends, I learned to put my focus elsewhere and keep moving along in hopes that a door would open and I would have a creative moment.

I have now shifted to a much more sensible business model. I stock a freezer at Palladio Antiques and Art  full of my food, and my customers can shop there for their meals. I have just recently begun to reap the rewards that come with making deliberate choices.

-what season(s) might your future hold? In the months ahead, I plan to continue scaling down my commitments and making choices based on what’s right for my son and me. I am beginning to trust my instincts and feel confident in my decisions. I love being a chef and business owner, and I can see now that I am in the right place. I am laying the groundwork for a more peaceful, more fulfilling, and simpler life. I am ready to reap the rewards.  

favorite family activities: My favorite time with my son is right before bed. Before I tuck him in, he will often tell me things that hapened during his day, and these are really sweet moments. During the day, we move at a fast pace and we’re on the go. It’s nice to have this quieter time when there’s a lot of intimacy in our relationship. These are my favorite times with him.

favorite solo activities: I love to run. I also like being in the car by myself with complete quiet. We go so fast, and things are so hectic. Sometimes I will sit down by myself, and I’ll realize later that I forgot to even turn the light on!

source(s) of inspiration: Before I started my business, I gained a lot of inspiration from reading. I have found books by Deepak Chopra to be helpful, as well as other literature about simplifying life and letting go of things that don’t matter. I am currently reading The Sermon on the Mount: The Key to Success in Life by Emmet Fox, and I love it!

best MakeShift moment: One of my MakeShift habits is to drive through McDonalds and buy enough milk to last us until I can get to the grocery store.

My son dresses himself, and a lot of times his ensembles look really bad. But this is all part of allowing myself to let go. I only have so much brain space, and I have had to decide what matters and what doesn’t. A lot of thing that would have bothered me ten years ago aren’t even on my radar now.

Perhaps my most recent MakeShift moment was when I spaced out and remembered “back to school night” at my son’s school only a couple of hours before it was to begin. I had no childcare lined up, and I had previously promised to go goldfish shopping with my son that evening. I desperately called a sitter, who was (thank goodness) willing to meet us at the pet store. After the fish selection, the four of us (myself, my son, the sitter, and the fish) went out to dinner. I really wanted to spend that time with my son, and I knew that having dinner with him would only prohibit me from attending the first part of “back to school night,” the part where I would be apt to eagerly volunteer for tasks that my schedule unfortunately will not allow. After dinner, I was able to be present for the second part of the meeting — the part where I saw my son’s classroom, met his teachers, and signed up to help with holiday parties (short volunteer commitments that increase the time spent with my son). It was a whirlwind of an evening but everything worked out great. My son got his fish, we had a lovely dinner, I was present at the meeting, and I kept sigh of what’s important.

jennifer invites memphians to the grand opening of the uptown grocer, this friday afternoon, october 15th, from 11:30-2:30 at cafe palladio (corner of cooper and central). sample jennifer’s chicken tetrazzini and cinnimon apple bread pudding with caramel, and enter to win one of four free uptown grocer gift certificates. 

• find jennifer on the web at http://www.theuptowngrocer.com/ 
• follow on twitter: @theuptowngrocer

[if you or someone you know would make a good “mother of invention,” please check out the nomination process and questionnaire located on the sidebar to your right.]