these are the kinds of conversations that happen after small children are playing by themselves all-too-quietly upstairs for 20 minutes:

me: bird, tell me where you tee teed so i can clean it up.

bird: on the blocks, at the top of the stairs, and in the monkey’s room.

me: where in the monkey’s room did you tee tee, exactly.

bird: the monkey’s room is upstairs, mom.

me: i know, but where did you tee tee?

bird: the blocks, at the top of the stairs, and in the monkey’s room. you’ll do a good job, mama.

tune in next time for another installment of authoritative nonsense!

when andy left the house last night for a meeting, our evening routine was ahead of schedule. the bird was clean and running around in a diaper. the monkey was in the shower, and i was so giddy at the prospect of having everyone in bed (including myself) by 8:15 that i even found motivation to do the dinner dishes. i am not sure how things devolved so quickly into a scene from the big lebowski.

the bird took a rare break from meddling in the dishwasher (yes, IN) to tell me that he wanted to tee tee in the potty. the fact that he pulled his diaper off and ran toward the bathroom prompted me to take him seriously, even though we’ve got at least six months to go before we re-enter potty training hell. i dangled over the potty for a couple of minutes to no avail. as it turns out, the bathroom rug held much greater appeal. he soaked the area around his feet and then giggled with maniacal glee!

not to be outdone, the monkey, who was cleaning his “stinky parts” in the nearby shower opened the steamy door, jutted out his pelvis, and marked his own territory on the rug. then, he let out his own prideful fit of uproarious laughter.

now i’ve got to schlep this rug into the back yard and hose it down. the bathroom floor with be awfully cold and bare while it’s gone. alas. it really tied the room together.